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Burnt Chowders & Dead Robots

By on October 14, 2020 in Random

You know that run of mojo-less energy I’ve been experiencing the past couple of months? Well, it’s still ruling me like a jackbooted Machiavellian swine. Additionally, the Trump-fueled, COVID enhanced, Great American Dumpster Fire continues to flame on like happy hour at the Bottoms Up Club. Despite my best efforts to ignore it all and to bury myself in creative pursuits and attempts at physical, mental, and philosophical betterment, my mind continues to alternate between simmering like an unattended vegetarian chowder on life’s back burner and shutting down like a Westworld host with a fried motherboard.

Having said that, somewhere between all the hyperbolic burnt chowders and dead robots of my mind, I managed to go outside and walk around the woods a bit on Tuesday.

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Recent Me, Macro Monday

By on September 28, 2020 in Photography, Random

I would love to use a phrase like “I’m back to my old self again,” but not only would that be incorrect, it would also be a less than desirable outcome. Old me is a jagoff. At least I thought so; I think “recent” me (past few years) is in a way better place than old me.

However, in the context of how I feel mentally compared to this time last week, and to my month-long flirtation with the 0.1 lifestyle, I am indeed getting back to my old self again. Still a jagoff in my own way, but that—along with my AutoZone guy/dad on a beer bender physique and sophomoric, rapier wit— is part of my unique charm, right? RIGHT?? OK, forget it.

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Between Bookends

By on September 21, 2020 in Random

NOTE OF HINDSIGHT: For what it’s worth, this post was written during a particularly difficult mood. The  following text here underlines that mood. Sorry.

It’s 9:40 AM on a Monday morning. I should be at work, but I alas, I ain’t gots no (real) job due to my less than stellar educational history, now redundant early 90s design skills, geographic locale, lack of employable talents, and no man’s land age. [See Underemployed, Being on the About page]

No, I am sitting in front of a computer writing this stuff. I have no idea what I’m about to write, but I need to vomit up some sort of verbiage in hopes of convincing myself to ride my bike. An activity—outside of a 13-mile rail-trail ride and a 30-minute Zwift™ session— I have not done in almost a month.

Why, you ask? Fuck, I don’t know.

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Whatever

By on September 16, 2020 in Random

Have you ever been stoned at a party, and some drunk dude is losing his shit? Being an obnoxious dick, picking fights, giving everyone his non-expert opinion, etc. And you just sit in a comfy chair and watch it all unfold with a half-smile on your face, unwilling—and potentially unable—to interject an opinion as Yo La Tengo songs drone on in your head louder than the stereo’s actual volume.

Whether you have or haven’t isn’t all that relevant, but that’s sort of how the past three weeks have felt to me. I’ve logged ONE 13-mile rail-trail ride with Wifey, a couple of walks in the woods, and care little.

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Icebergs

By on September 9, 2020 in Random

Over the past week or so, I have greeted each day with all the enthusiasm of a one-legged turtle. All of that is based on the assumption that a one-legged turtle would not want to get out of bed, leave the house, talk to people, or lay eyes upon the world as it deservedly turns to ashes after being given chance after chance to make things right.

I realize that this may make me sound like I’m depressed. Oddly enough, I feel quite good, or at least content. I’ll try to explain.

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Up and Down

By on September 3, 2020 in Random

Homemade black bean burger. #Cat5Cooking

No one likes going to the doctor. Even in my healthiest days many, many, many pounds ago, I wasn’t a fan. Fast forward to age 49, and I am even less of a fan.

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Random Present & Futures

By on August 2, 2020 in Random

Someday this will all be over. Eventually, I will wake up in the morning and know what day it is, and care what day it is. Someday the country won’t be a polarized and divided dumpster fire, and the name of the orange fuck face in the White House will just be a despicable footnote in the pretty darn, not bad history of our country.

Until that day comes, I will keep doin’ what I do to make life fun: ride bikes, take photos, hike trails, love my wife and kid, watch the footy, drink beer, and make food.

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Sighs, Rubs, & Pulls

By on July 28, 2020 in Random

I don’t know, man [rubs gelatinous, stubbled cheeks, then eyes, followed by a pull of unkempt hair]. I haven’t been on my bike since Friday, and I don’t know whether I’m happy, moderately upset, almost sad, or not giving a shit about it.

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