The life of a crap cyclist is all about choices. These choices can make or break even the crappest of planned rides.

Friday Night, Choice 1: Alcohol, Xbox, Mexican Food, and Morrissey

After a pretty good second choice of a ride on Friday I chose to spend my Friday evening chilling out, drinking beverages, and reading on the deck whilst listening to some tunes on the boom box (also known as my phone and a blue tooth speaker). I had plenty leftovers in the fridge to go along with some freshly made burger patties that I had readied for the grill. Then I changed my mind and moved the one man party indoors.

Instead of throwing those burgers on the grill, I wrapped them up and threw them in the fridge for future use, and proceeded to prep some veggies for another batch of Burn Ass Soiled Chamois Mexican Rice & Beans while listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers (Blood Sugar Sex Magic). Such a great funk-tactular album, and possibly the last album of theirs that I ever bought.

After all that prepping and cooking I made the choice not to eat, but to get another beverage and watch one of my new favorite shows: Huang’s World on Vice. Seeing him eat a variety of Chinese foods on the episode got me hungry and I was finally ready to eat.

Once shoveling one plate too many of rice and beans into my fat face, I poured another drink and fired up the Xbox to play some FIFA 16. As you may be noticing when I am left alone I have super terrific high-octane ADD and want to cram as much “Me Time” into my time alone as I can.

With a 1-1 draw in the books, I contemplated going to bed, but then made the choice to pour yet another beverage and see what was the tube. What I decided on was watching The Importance of Being Morrissey for roughly the 50th time. Buy the time it was over it was after 11 and time to turn in.


Saturday Morning, Choice 2: Skip Eating, or Eat & Ride Later

I woke up to the sun in my eyes around 6 AM and did my best to fall back to sleep. I tossed, I turned, I felt like I already had 5 cups of coffee. I thought about getting up right there and then but chose to fight on until I fell back to sleep.

Two hours later I woke up and instead of feeling even fresher than I had earlier I felt like someone dropped a 16 tone weight on me. Fuck.

I went downstairs, poured some coffee and looked around the interwebs for a bit. By this point it was nearly 9:30 and I still hadn’t eaten breakfast. Time to make another decision… Do I eat, wait another hour to digest and risk the temperatures rising even further and the winds getting stronger, or ride on an empty stomach and risk being crapper than I already am. I rode.

I was only 10 AM, but the sun was already burning hot, the wind was blowing from the south west, and the lack of food in my bouncing belly had me longing for the ride to end quickly. At this point I made the choice to make my way home and cut the ride to just 22 miles. Not the best choice, but riding is supposed to be fun right now, and slogging along in the wind and heat wasn’t all that fun. Not the best choice, but the right choice.

Now cooking one of the burgers that I stashed in the fridge on the grill for lunch, that was the best choice I made all day.


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