Entertaining The Idea, Maybe


In my entire life, outside of the ages of 12 to 21, when I would have rather been dead for a variety of reasons (sadly not hyperbole, I was not in a good place), I can’t recall a time in my life that I have struggled with motivation as much as I am right now.

The time, thought process, and will to get myself out of bed and out the door to do something as mundane as a slow walk in the woods with my camera is a process that can take anywhere from two to four hours. And the idea of putting forth an effort to ride, run, or lift heavy things for no reason has become almost out of the question.

Just over a month ago, I was 8 months in to a being in the gym almost daily, becoming stronger than I’ve ever been, and getting the itch to return to the saddle of my bike come spring. Then Pandemic-A-Go-Go 2020 hit the U.S.

At first, I moved activities to the Not So Stankment and eventually added time outside on my bike. Then as the days became increasingly the same, sleeping 14+ hours a day became my new normal, and physical activity is limited to hikes around the woods when I finally get myself out the door followed by afternoon drinks (mixing doubles like they are triples) and making a dinner that I only half eat before going to bed by 8 PM.

I know that things will inevitably get better, and my routines and daily activities will become increasingly more normal, but my patience is wearing thin. As is my tolerance for the dystopian world we’re living in filled with people wearing masks and rubber gloves just to get some groceries, and morons protesting for their rights to once again gather in large groups, as they are gathered in a large group, potentially increasing the length of time people are prohibited from gathering in large groups. Jesus Christ, my head is spinning from writing that!

OK with all that meh, and moaning out-of-the-way, I did manage to get myself outside yesterday. I drove by Meridian Park, but seeing 6 or more cars in the lot had me opting to drive further on and go to the Audubon Woods Preserve. The AWP seems to be one of the less popular preserves, and I figured that my chances of running into the masses looking to get out of the house and into some sun would be lessened there. I was wrong.

There was one car parked near the entrance, and I ran into the unfriendly owners of that car just a few hundred yards into my walk. Then about 10 minutes later, I passed another surly guy walking on his own. I guess I missed the memo on social distancing, requiring you to also be a fucking dick.

Crap angle, and the best I could do.

I continued on my slow walk, trying to find things of interest to photograph when I saw yet another two people coming towards me. JESUS H… Oh wait, I know these two, and they are two of my best friends! IN THE FLESH!

We talked for about 10 minutes or so, and it felt great to actually interact with some friends in person. Yes, we remained more than 6 feet away from each other, but to talk to someone in person without the aid of Zoom or FaceTime, and with no masks, gloves, body condoms, or plexiglass between us felt great. I will say it felt a bit odd interacting with them without Wifey there. I felt like I was cheating on her by talking in person with friends while she was holed up at home binge-watching an Icelandic murder mystery.

Taken with my old Canon s95.

After we parted, I headed down towards the river, took a few photos, and then headed up the steep hill to my car, passing yet ANOTHER family on my way. At least this family, was cheerful, as was the jovial Hobbit-looking old man in SHORT satin running shorts that “ran” by while I was talking to my friends.

In total, I think I saw at least 10 people on the short loop. That’s roughly 7 more people than I have ever seen while hiking at the AWP and 5 more people than I care to have seen.

Taken with my old Canon s95.

OK, I’ve been up for almost two hours now, I guess I can start thinking about entertaining the idea of starting to think about leaving the house. Then maybe figure out a plan to return to what amounts to my normal. Maybe.


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