Making Hay, Etc…


I took advantage of this morning’s cloud cover to avoid the blazing sun and get out for a ride before the “fit but fat” thwarting Michiganderburgh heat and humidity had a chance to do any sort of thwarting to a fat man such as myself. To paraphrase/fuck up an old adage– I was making hay while the sun DIDN’T shine. Or at least riding slowly by hay while the sun didn’t shine.

After sweating off ten pounds of sweat, twelve beers, ten shots of gin, a pound of bacon grease and eight ten slices of pizza on Sunday morning afternoon, I took Monday off to just fuck about and get some shit done (Hello colon cleanse!!). In addition to the cleansing of my colon, there was also a design project for the shop to get done and a shit ton of house-ish stuff to do like buying a new fucking refrigerator. Thank God for the earning prowess of Wifey’s brain or we’d be storing our food in a bunch of stank beer coolers for the next several months!


Of course when one avoids the sun on a ride, one also risks the chance of getting pissed down on by one of the numerous thunderstorms swirling around Michigan today. Luckily I avoided any rain, but got to enjoy the cloud cover and the slightly lower temps they brought with them while the storms were in the area.


There was one road that I was on today that was destroyed with washboards and tire tracks from the thousands of tons of farm equipment that have been rolling over it lately without them being graded by the county; it was then that I yet again felt the nether region tingling that is brought about from latent man on bike love. The velo-gasmic combination of the Boone’s carbon fork, frame and IsoSpeed coupler combined with the über fat cross rubber that is the WTB Nano 40, had me grinning as I trucked along. I was bouncing around a little bit, but in no way feeling the pound me in the ass prison like vibrations of years past. Hell, I’m still trying to get over that one time when my prostate almost filled my chamois up. Anyway…


I got to thinking that I could probably get away with some slightly narrower rubber, but right now, I’m good. Given my body’s girth, I think it helps to have some extra width under my growing, beer and cottage cheese filled ass. I am due to order some new tires and that may be another pair of Nano 40s, OR, given that even the heaviest of my dirt road rides still contain 10 or more miles of pavement, I might look into something slightly more pavement friendly like the Clement X’Plor MSO 40. I have some Clements in the Stankment, but they are merely 35c tires, and I tend to gravitate to things a tad more plush.

While it was still warm enough to drain forty-five ounces of water today, it was nice to get a ride in and not feel like I was soaked in bacon grease. Today it was merely a shit ton of sweat–which thankfully–only contained the stinging contaminates of last night’s White Trash Mexican Rice and Beans; a more tasty, but ass burning version of a colon cleanse.


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