Last night, right after I hit the publish button on what will surely be known as the most widely unread blog post in Soiled Chamois history, I popped my normal shot of ZzzQuil and headed up to The Chamber of Farts that is my bedroom. An hour or so later I was still awake; I tossed, I turned, I coughed, I was hot, I was cold, I was sweating, I coughed again. “Wait, why do I keep coughing?” I thought to myself. Then it hit me…. I’m getting sick… I’ve got the crud! OH, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!
I was up a bit late last night doing stupid things and up early this morning to do more stupid things like watching footy on TV, and I had little desire to ride. Until I thought about NOT riding and that made riding seem better. Strange.
Word on the dirt street was that today was Global Fat Bike Day. Even as a fat bike owner and rider I don’t know what that means, and since I’ve never been one to do what the masses do, I rode my El Mariachi for two hours on dirt roads north of town.
Twas swell… ish.
After my second flab flailing run of the week atop the treadmill yesterday (in which I somehow hurt my foot), I was anxious to get back on the bike today. I wasn’t so anxious to get out in the 20˚ temps, but the sun was out, things are bone dry and even if the winter turns pear-shaped tomorrow and shits down an ass ton of snow, this winter is already better than last winter, so I will embrace it and ride (or at least do my interpretation of riding, which these days seems to be rolling along snapping photos whilst I train for nothing in particular except not to move up another pants size).
As you may or may not remember, just two days ago (Friday) I was riding in 19 degree weather on a fat bike with 4″ wide tires over snow and ice packed dirt roads. Saturday I woke up and the roads were caked with ice and freezing rain. Today I was out on my mountain bike and cruising Michiganderburgh paved roads in 50 degree weather and light rain. Holy freaking psycho weather!
Anyone who has ever come within three feet of me or this blog knows that I hate winter. I’m not happy about it, but there’s nothing I can do about it, so I have learned to embrace it. However, that embrace is sort of like when you’re thirteen and one of your grandmother’s buxom friends decides that she wants, nay, NEEDS a hug upon meeting you. You’re not happy about it, but at some point during the embrace your realize that despite the woman’s advanced years, caked on makeup, wrinkles, eye watering perfume and ongoing fight with gravity, her extremely large, round boobs ARE indeed pressing into your chest. Sadly, no matter how hard your try, you end up using that bit later whilst in private*. You’re not happy about it, but there’s nothing you can do about it. Riding in the winter is my touchy/feely big boob hug.
Up until today, the week has not gone according to plan as far as doing stuff. Monday is always a crapshoot on whether I can get out and this Monday didn’t really cooperate, it was the crap part of the crapshoot. On Tuesday we got hit with some lake effect snow and strong winds so I thought it best to stay off the roads with visibility so low. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it was west of Mt. Peezy but it snowing and blowing hard nonetheless.
I once again found the will to get out into the various shades of gray and fecal brown that make up the landscape of a late fall in Michigan to ride my bike for a bit. Today was pretty much the same sort of day as yesterday, except I went a mile or two longer and did a slightly different loop. A good loop, with some nice punchy climbs on loose sand and gravel, but sadly, it was a short loop.
I blathered at length yesterday about the Michigan gray and forcing myself to ride my bike when I would have rather been holed up in bed, snuggled up to the warm, ample bosoms of a red-headed Jezebel and an IV hooked up to a bottle of gin, so I will avoid doing so again today and just post some pics. The photos–like the cattle pic above–pretty much sum up any ride I do on the dirt roads around Michiganderburgh and what I encounter on my rides.
I knew this week wouldn’t bring much riding and I was right, until it did.
The thing that sucks about the mythical land of Michiganderburgh is the lack of open space we have.
I’m trying to make up for last week’s time off the bike by getting in what I can this week. So far I’m up to about 6:20 of gravel roads and singletrack. Sadly, my aging, talentless, flabby, all too often beer fueled body, on the rebound from last week’s illness, is feeling every minute I’ve put in thus far– even today’s 32 mile ride on the flatter gravel roads north of town.
Since I’m tired and have important things to do like lay on the couch, watch soccer, fall asleep for an hour, drag my ass up to my bed, stare at the ceiling for two hours wondering how I became such a useless, hollow, shell of a man, who contributes nothing to society, fall into a fitful sleep and get up at 6 a.m. and do it all over again (whatever “it” is), I will just post up some pics in a gallery below. They’re from today’s ride, so it’s dirt roads, barns and shit like that. You know the routine.
