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I Feel Wham!

By on October 3, 2014 in Cycling

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It’s been some time since my last post. I figured it was best not to post since the weather has been windy, rainy and crap-tastic, I haven’t been riding and I’ve been taking the Black Dog for a long, LONG walk of late. People barely want to read about an old, fat dude riding his bike, let alone read about an old, fat, depressed dude NOT riding his bike. Sigh (drink)… Those days are now sort of, almost, not quite behind me now, and I have moved on (sort of) by getting a new bike that I have no right to have really got (Is that right? It doesn’t sound right… gotten?..purchased?… fuck it, we all know I’m an ass hat).

Thanks to selling some shit, a generous Wifey and the amazing bare assed folks (don’t ask) at Terry’s Cycle in beautiful downtown Alma, Michigan, my winter racing and riding plans are now as solid as a post-Golden Corral buffet bowel movement: KAPLUNK!!! Yep, today I took delivery of the very black and very anodized Trek Farley 6. It’s sort of like Jay Z and Wham! guest starring on Drop Dead Diva. I have to say, I am pretty darn, nonplussed about it.

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Catching Up (with opinions)

By on September 29, 2014 in Cycling, Mountain Biking

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The past few days have been filled with three things: beer, football (er, soccer) and dirt. In other words, three things I dig.

I skipped riding on Thursday to drive down to beautiful downtown Alma, Michigan and pay a visit to Terry’s Cycle where I picked up a Trek Farley 8 demo bike. I spent some time getting it dialed and had it out on the trails Friday morning for a lap at MMCC.

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Trek’s Farley 8 is SOOOOOO light compared to my heavy assed Pugs! It really is an awesome bike… sort of.

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More Bad Ideas

By on September 16, 2014 in Cycling

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Earlier this month I thought it would be a good idea to take a 30+ pound borrowed fat bike out for a ride on dirt roads. That wasn’t a bad idea, but it wasn’t a great one either. Since I am not one to avoid doing stupid things (in fact stupidity is sort of my thing), I one upped myself today and took my 40+ pound Surly Pugsley out on energy sapping muddy dirt roads… while sick. How bad could it be?

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Bad Ideas Turned Good

By on September 2, 2014 in Cycling, Mountain Biking

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As I mentioned the other day, my buddy at the shop lent me his Trek Farley* to ride for a few days and see what I thought. I did a lap on singletrack last Saturday and thought it felt a bit harsh compared to my Pugsley and made the pre-mature decision to shelve any ideas of considering one in the future. Then I got to thinking: whether I buy one or not, I think my assessment was a bit rash and not all that fair, given that while I have ridden my Pugsley on singletrack, I have only done so for 10-12 miles at a time to mix things up after I’ve done a “real” lap or two on my Superfly, or when conditions were shit.

I’ve love the Pugs in the snow and on the deep sand ORV trails, so I figured I should give the Farely another go before I return it this week, and ride it on surface that would be more akin to what I would actually use a fat bike on. The trouble is (thank God!), there is no snow on the ground and this week won’t really allow for me to head north to those ORV trails. So I had an idea– I would use the Farley for my dirt road ride today. Afterall, some of those roads are pretty sandy and pretty shit… It was a bad idea; sort of.

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Metaphors Aside

By on August 5, 2014 in Mountain Biking

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I recently found this photo amongst the hundreds of unused, crappier than most, photos I take while riding my bike. It’s obviously not all that good, yet I find myself liking it. I like it–if for no other reason than–because in the past, every time I have ever crossed over this particularly heavily trafficked intersection (heavy for being out in the middle of Bumfuck, Michiganderburgh) where the North Higgins Snowmobile Trail crosses a Roscommon County seasonal road, I have been forced off my bike to walk. The sand is too soft and the numerous tire ruts from trucks, ATVs and dirt bikes too deep.

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Fat Again

By on August 1, 2014 in Mountain Biking

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No, the title of this post is not referring to how 20+ years ago I was a hulking, 300 pound sack of man flesh, lost 125 pounds and am now seemingly going out of my way to gain as much of that weight back as I can with a steady diet of burgers, pizza, pasta and beer. No, I am simply adhering to Cycling Writer Law 26/3.7 which states that if you ride, review, touch, hear about or suggestively rub up against a fat bike and proceed to write about it, you MUST mention the word “fat” in the title of your piece, e.g. Getting Fat, Rolling a Fatty, Fat & Fun, Fatties Do It Better, Fat Between My Thighs, etc., etc.,  Since I suggestively rubbed up against rode my Surly Pugsley for the second time this week on Thursday, I have gone with the title Fat Again. OK, with all that fat talk out-of-the-way, I will move on…

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Fat on Fat, Man on Bike Love

By on July 29, 2014 in Mountain Biking

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With B-Man in Pittsburgh with his Poppy for the week and Wifey in Baltimore on .gov business, I am considering this week a vacation week. There will be many miles ridden and copious amounts of beer drank. There will be drunk Tweeting and Facebooking, strippers and casual sex with throngs of horned up CMU girls aching to get a piece of me. OK, that’s all pretty much a lie. I plan to get some miles in, hit up some new riding areas, drink a few beers and maybe hang out with some friends. The rest is just perverted daydreaming by a 43-year-old man with a wife of seventeen years and a 10-year-old son out-of-town for the week.

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The Fat Between

By on July 21, 2014 in Mountain Biking

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The past week was once again low on hours in the saddle and high on Dad duties and other activities. I’m not going to complain about that, I’m very lucky to have been given the opportunity (thanks to the size of Wifey’s brain) to hang out with my son during the summer rather than send him to camp or seek “baby” sitting so I can utilize my utter lack of education and useless past work experience working at Taco Bell…Not that there’s anything wrong with that (if you’re 17), Taco Bell makes some fine quasi, sort of, not at all authentic Tex-Mexican-ish foods that are beloved by the obese and stoned college kids world-wide (except Mexico).

However–as I mentioned in quick post yesterday–I was able to get out for a double dip of dirt on Saturday and slow-paced loop on Sunday. Joy!

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Fast, Then Fat

By on July 14, 2014 in Mountain Biking

Firstly, I extend my apologies to my two faithful readers for not updating in a while. My cycling life has been pretty… um… ah… “uneventful” to say the least and pretty much void of riding (welcome to my summers). The last week was filled with me running on the treadmill (not blog worthy, unless you’re some perverse freak that enjoys hearing about a fat man flopping around on a treadmill as he walks and runs at speeds betweenst 3.5 and 8 miles per hour), my 17th wedding anniversary (freaking AWESOME, but still not blog worthy, no matter HOW much I love Wifey) and hanging out on my front porch drinking beer in the evenings (fun, but again, not all that blog worthy).

With all that said, Saturday I finally got out on some dirt. I took the Superfly and headed up to MMCC with hopes of a good ride. I have done this many times in 2014 and more often than not I have come back in pain (stupid almost 43 year old back!), pissed off and ready to hang up my bikes for good. Thankfully, this weekend was kind to me and I had some great rides…

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