I Feel Wham!


It’s been some time since my last post. I figured it was best not to post since the weather has been windy, rainy and crap-tastic, I haven’t been riding and I’ve been taking the Black Dog for a long, LONG walk of late. People barely want to read about an old, fat dude riding his bike, let alone read about an old, fat, depressed dude NOT riding his bike. Sigh (drink)… Those days are now sort of, almost, not quite behind me now, and I have moved on (sort of) by getting a new bike that I have no right to have really got (Is that right? It doesn’t sound right… gotten?..purchased?… fuck it, we all know I’m an ass hat).

Thanks to selling some shit, a generous Wifey and the amazing bare assed folks (don’t ask) at Terry’s Cycle in beautiful downtown Alma, Michigan, my winter racing and riding plans are now as solid as a post-Golden Corral buffet bowel movement: KAPLUNK!!! Yep, today I took delivery of the very black and very anodized Trek Farley 6. It’s sort of like Jay Z and Wham! guest starring on Drop Dead Diva. I have to say, I am pretty darn, nonplussed about it.

Actually I am VERY happy that I have the opportunity to ride something quite a bit better, and lighter, than my Pugs this winter and I am more than happy that my wife is easy-going enough to help me get one even though I currently bring $0 to our family each week and her Jupiter sized brain brings in much more. I am excited to ride and race the Farley, AKA Fat J-George (Michael), but to be honest, a lifetime of Catholic guilt has me feeling about as happy as a pregnant hooker who just paid cash for car to get her to the local family planning clinic. Oh well, I’m pretty sure if I drink enough beer and suffer enough on the bike I’ll complete some sort of freakish penance that equals roughly 68.2 Act of Contritions.


Whilst the Farley 6 isn’t a “top of the line” fat bike (I know that makes me sound like a bike knob, but I’ve been lucky to ride some really sweet bikes in my years) it is still a pretty darn good deal if you compare it to other complete fat bike builds out there. The Farley 8 was a great bike but a little TOO much of a bike for my plans, and a little too green. For people who are in to riding a fat bike as their primary mountain bike, it would be the right bike. However for someone like me who uses a fat bike to ride sandy ORV trails in the summer and to dull the mind numbing, take a rope to the attic, do what you have to do to not drink yourself blind Michigan winter, I think it’s the right choice. The 6 is affordable and pretty easy to upgrade if I choose to do so in the future. The only thing that I really, REALLY, REALLLLLLLY wish Trek would have done was offer the Bontrager Jackalope wheels on this model. Those wheels are TITS!!. ORRRRR offer a model betweenst the 6 and 8 that had them AND a (carbon) rigid fork, instead of the heavy, redundant and sort of stupid Bluto fork. Sorry suspension loving fat bike riders I will NEVER get it (don’t make me reiterate the whole wearing a condom to masturbate analogy. Ooops, my bad).

As it is, I think the stock Farley 6 is a very nice combination of the fat bikes I have tried: The Farley 8, my Pugs and my buddy Mike’s ‘14 Farley frame set with his own parts and wheel build. Notice I didn’t mention the Cooker I raced on (once) last year. Yeah, no one should really buy that bike. Rent or borrow the shit out of it, just don’t buy it.

The weather forecast is shit, but I hope get some miles in on this bike or ANY FUCKING BIKE soon.


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