As I rode today I tried figuring out how I would describe our current weather. Fall has pretty much come, colorfully shit the bed, changed the sheets and left, but it’s not exactly winter now either… or is it?
With no company other than the two fat tires that rolled below me, some cows, a steady westerly wind and my maddening brain, I started asking myself some questions to get to the bottom of the seasonal purgatory that now grips the middle of the mitten:
My Brain: Is it cold?
Me: Yeah, it’s pretty cold, but this is Michigan, I’ve been cold in the middle of July here.
My Brain: You raise a good point. OK, how cold was it? Are your wearing winter mountain bike shoes or regular shoes?
Me: Winter shoes, it’s like 30˚ with a 15 mph wind gust at times.
My Brain: If it’s not winter, why did you wear them? Is it snowing?
Me: Well, technically yes, there are flurries blowing around, but it’s not snowing snowing or laying on the ground…
My Brain: But there is snow in the air, sounds a lot like winter to me! OK, what pants do you have on?
Me: Um.. I have bibs and knee warmers on.
My Brain: C’mon, are you sure that’s it?
Me: OK, no. I have a my Craft PXC pants on overtop.
My Brain: Headwear, do you have cap on or a balaclava?
Me: Balaclava… but not over my whole face, just to cover the ears. You know how cold they get.
My Brain: I think I’ve made my decision, but one last question now that you’ve finished riding; is your bottle froze?
Me: NO! No… no… there’s just a tiny bit of thin ice float…
My Brain: DUDE, IT’S SO WINTER!!! SACK UP AND DEAL WITH IT!!
Me: …ing on top… OK, I KNOW! I KNOW! I know… [cries, rests face in hands, ensconced in two pairs of thin winter gloves].
Yeah, I am pretty sure winter is here, as noted by the flakes I saw blowing in the air, the ice inside the mud covered bottle seen below, and the mud that froze to the Farley like a rancid carbuncle on an old man’s ass.
As rides go, this one was nothing to write home about (or blog about), but I will, ’cause like they say “you can’t stop a shit stuffed bus once it drives off a cliff.”
My first thought was to get back at running today since I am getting more
adept adequate at doing so, but I remembered that B-Man’s school schedule will have him home with a half day tomorrow and off on Friday. That will limit my time to goof off and be a good time to get quick treadmill lumbers in. With that nugget of knowledge in my empty skull, I gathered my cool weather winter gear and got out for a short, probably pretty ineffective ride today north of town.
The ride was pretty much my Better Than The Trainer Ride (Gravel Version)™, that also doubles as one of my snow-covered dirt road rides in the winter. It’s just a quick 1.5 hour jaunt north of town to burn some calories and keep me off the road bike in the basement.
The ride goes north, then west for a couple of miles and then returns south to town. With a cold breeze coming out of the west today that was just fine by me, I’ll take a cross wind over face numbing head wind any day. I found myself envious of all the geese that passed me by today as they headed south for warmer climes and new parks to shit in. Sigh, I wish I was heading south to shit in a park…
Today MAY be the last of the riding until the weekend. Oh well, B-Man will be around, as will the treadmill. I doubt those muddy, Michiganderburgh dirt roads or the winter air that has now descended upon them will be going anywhere soon and will surely be waiting for me on Saturday. I’m just happy with the fact that I’ve been getting out and that my road bike still sits unattached to the trainer in the basement. Actually my road bike sits unattached to the trainer without a seat post or saddle right now.
A For What It’s Worth Side Note:
Above, I mentioned that I was wearing my Craft PXC pants today. These pants are the shit! I originally bought them for XC skiing, but when I finally decided that I don’t actually enjoy cross-country skiing and bought a fat bike, I started riding in them. They are perfect for winter mountain biking. Hell, I’d even wear them for road riding if I was inclined to ride a road bike in the winter. I wear a pair of bibs under them and they work great [on extremely cold days I add leg warmers beneath too]. They’re light, windproof, pretty water-resistant and have lots of stretch. PLUS they have suspenders, which helps prevent them from sliding down and leaving one with a saggy, saddle catching crotchial area. Another bonus is that they are slim fitting and stretchy, but not so tight that I feel like a total wanker if I have to go into a store or something. The only thing I wish they had was a maternity waist band for my gut! The waist band is fine, but since the pants weren’t designed for cycling it can get in the way and has to be adjusted for the position on the bike (and for beer guts). It’s not a big deal though, ’cause the pants are so freaking good. They were like a $130 but worth every penny, truly the best pants I’ve ever worn for “doing stuff” outside in the winter. Yes, I said winter. CUSS!
Note: The FWIW side note was update in the a.m to include my wish for a maternity waist band. This isn’t a big deal, because I would probably say the same thing about any pair of shorts, jeans or that one pair of dress pants that I own.