You Probably Race

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If you open up a drawer–any drawer–and find a gel flask, you’ve probably raced some mountain bikes*.

Or you are just an unorganized doofuss like me that throws your shit wherever and then spend hours looking for it in the time leading up to a long ride or a race. Note that there is no cap for the flask. I am pretty sure I saw it on top of the dryer in the basement.

*OK, you might not race mountain bikes but you do SOMETHING equally as cool yet unpopular and misunderstood by the general U.S. public: ultra runs, adventure racing, cross-country skiing, etc.,

Fast ‘N Loud On Dirt Roads

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I believe I may have watched way too much Fast N’ Loud the past few days, given that the first thing I thought of when I rode past this old F150 on Sunday was “I wonder what the guys from Gas Monkey Garage could do to that?” Later on that day, a little bit of Googling would have me not at all surprised to see that they have indeed worked on an older, badass F100 in Fast N’ Loud, Episode 6. Check out the pics on KC (the paint dude’s) blog.

Still, I found myself rolling along thinking that if I was Richard from Fast N’ Loud, I’d say– “I picked up this old Ford F150 for $1,800 along a dirt road in the middle of Bum-F*ck, Michigan. Now it’s time to get it back to the “bearded wonder,” so he can turn it around by next week and I can get it to auction to make some fat cash and pay the bills. Thinkin’ maybe we’ll drop it, get a new exhaust on, some new wheels from our friends at JagOff Custom Wheelz N’at™ and have KC throw on a killer two-toned black paint job to make it badass and scary rolling down the road.”

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But as we all know, I am SO not Richard from Fast N’ Loud, so I would probably just buy it, get it painted back, have it not run, park it in a field and have some chick in a green bikini stand beside it.

I’m thinking it would be unwise to go back and make an offer on it.

Top photo credit: Me.
Bottom photo credit: Hell, I don’t know, it came up when I Googled: Ford F150 truck, black, field, girl, green bikini, Auburn fan. This was the only photo that came up, so I used it.

I Know A Guy (Not Denzel)

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I know some people who know some people that rob some people. – Huggy Bear

Actually, I just have a friend who was looking to unload these super fresh XTR pedals he acquired for a “Holy shit! Even I can actually afford that!” price. I LOVE me some XTR. Yeah, yeah, XT shit is good and I dig it the most, but when a good XTR opportunity knocks, I do my best to answer and fork over money.

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Mornings With Maury

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Colder temps are closing in fast, my weight is out of control following the 2 week government shutdown induced depressive beer bender I went on, and I would like to be on a new bike and racing more in 2014. So, I made the commitment to go back to my gym (Morey Maury Ballstein’s Fitness Center) to mix things up, burn some calories, muscle up some flab, stay out of the wind and cold a few days a week and actually interact with people outside my home every so often.

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Francesco Moser & Bodoni

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I hate myself. Not for all my normal reasons but because the very first thing I thought of when I saw this photo of Francesco Moser wasn’t about him, his bike, the race he was doing or the Cheshire Cat shit eating grin the dude in the car is sporting… it was that the font used for the sponsor’s name on the team car is Bodoni Poster Italic. Not a huge fan… Unless I’m doing some 70s looking project, then it’s pretty darn cool. I on the other hand am just an idiot.