Stupid Normal


In the realm of Pandemic-A-Go-Go 2020, things aren’t too bad for me right now: my family has remained healthy, Wifey is an essential employee who can work from home, and B is maintaining his sanity with a strict, self-imposed fitness routine and online gaming with friends until his school district figures out how the hell to finish the year.

As for myself, I do any of the grocery shopping or errands that need to be done in public and have remained (physically) healthy thus far, and I’ve been finding mental peace through hikes, rides, and pursuing my dream of becoming a Camgirl lackluster photography. And most days, that all works.

And somedays it doesn’t.

I won’t dare complain because things could no doubt be way worse. But there are days that my brain craves a bit more normalcy than these times can possibly offer. And on those days, the idea of leaving the house to do anything other than must-do errands leaves me in a big ol’ state of “fuck it.”

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that there are days that I long to have back some of life’s mundane normalcy. To turn on the TV and get lost in watching the footy, or read the news and only get depressed by the fact that we have one of the worst fucking human beings in the world as our President, rather than the fact that we have one of the worst fucking human beings in the world as our President, AND he’s attempting—and failing—to lead our country through a worldwide pandemic.

*insert heavy sigh here*

Sunday was one of those “fuck it” days, and so far, Monday is too. I know that in time, all of this stuff will be nothing more than a distant memory and that compared to many people, I do a damn good job of distancing myself from the endless new cycles, and find ways to stay positive. But for a creature of habit and routine like myself, the want for a return to normal can be overpowering somedays. And on those days I say “fuck it,” sleep late, waste time taking photos of birds and flowers in the backyard, make food, drink a few beers, go to bed early, and don’t beat myself for feeling a bit of ennui. Because things could be worse, eventually things will return to normal, and I’ll be back to thinking my “normal” is pretty damn stupid.


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