Posts Tagged → unfunny commentary

The Last Day (2025 Edition)

I slept in a bit on Wednesday, waiting for daylight, hoping to get some actual miles in my feetz, and pics on my SD card after days away from the woods due to a multi-day ice storm.

I headed out around 8 AM and was disappointed to come to the park gate and see roadblocks with CLOSED signs up due to the number of downed trees and the service roads being solid ice. “Well, I’ll be gahdamn!” I mumbled as I turned around in the entrance way, followed by, “I CANNOT BE STOPPED!!

No, I did’t go around the gates and help myself to the park after being asked not to, I’m not that big of a dick. I had Plan B already in my noggin.

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Still Not Back

Out of The Woods, Day 7

The freezing rain and winds have finally diminished, and in their wake have left numerous trees down and some side roads (including our street) a snow and ice-packed mess.

Since I try not to be too big of a self-serving outdoor prick, I figured I would stay out of the woods another day to give the park workers a chance to clear the downed trees and the mess that the storm left behind. I don’t think they need a fat hiker with a camera getting in their way.

With that, I was in the Not So Stankment for another 3 miles of intervals.

My plan was just to do a long-ish lumber, but once I got warmed up, that seemed stupid, and a real mental nut kick, so I turned up some old DJ mixes on Soundcloud and got to the intervals.

There was much sweat, and the realization that staring straight into a replay of an EFL Championship match is NOT a proper replacement for woods and critters. And despite the music making want to attempt to twerk whilst running, thumping bass and breakbeats are no replacement for birds chirping or the babbling of the running river.

This is my second 3-mile interval session in four days, and while I am not a fan, it has helped keep me relatively sane and once again has me wanting to get back to trail running again. Well, at least my Fat But Fit version of trail running that involves plenty of gasping, winded cries of “fuck, oh fuck,” and flirtations with hurling myself onto the trail in a heap of pain.

Trail running (or a shambolic, belly-heaving jog in the woods) is always a great reminder to me that I DON’T RUN! But it also serves as a strange on/off-again goal that has frustrated me for years, yet still has me longing to do it consistently. I might not ever say I DO RUN! But I’d be stoked with I CAN RUN! I just choose when I want to do it.

Later.

Same, Warmer, Worse

Part I, Nearly Identical

Tuesday’s loop was the same as Monday’s, down to the same exact mileage; 6.09, and my time was within two minutes of Monday’s, including pauses for attempts at crap photos and a stop for bladder emptying.

I did start earlier, so that meant nearly two full miles done in darkness with a headlamp before the real balls of the dark grey day appeared, keeping ISO readings above 5000 and shutter speeds too low for quality photos even after the sun rose at 8:06 AM.

While I got next to no shots, I saw some geese in the river, an eagle flying in the distance, and a pileated woodpecker pecking high in a dark canopy of leafless trees. I did manage another deer shot (seen above), but that was about it over the 6+ miles.

Part II, Wednesday

After two days and 12.18 miles of snowshoeing, my legs and I were pretty set on keeping the miles under six on Wednesday. Especially since the temperature was 38˚ when I left the house at 6:45. That is 40˚ warmer than it was just over a week ago when I started down the trail in -2˚F temps.

While warmer temps are nice and it was great to lumber without gloves and a bobble hat, the softer snow is not so nice. Knowing that things were going to be a bit soft and slow, I figured anything over four would be fine with me, especially since I had shit to do at home followed by my bi-weekly appointment with the OG Mindbender in the early afternoon.

I was 100% right on the snow being softer and more work to get through, but I was hopeful that warmer temps would mean more critters. Um, no.

The extent of my critter sightings on the day was two deer deep in the woods, a couple of crows flying overhead, a few squirrels, and some snow fleas (Hypogastrura nivicola), but I don’t know if they count as critters or not. So, that was a bit disappointing.

Even more disappointing is the knowledge that the high temperature on Thursday is going to be 50˚ with a 1/4 inch of rainfall in the forecast, on top of 10 inches of melting snow. Then on Friday, the high temp is only going to be 28˚. Ug!! Things are going to get REAL messy, REAL fast.

With that said, I have already mentally prepared myself to skip my morning lumber on Thursday, and hope that everything freezes overnight. We shall see.

My apologies for the lack of photos and for spending nearly an entire post talking about the weather. I’m a real piece of shit for that. There’s a reason that this unnecessary, mundane shit show of a blog is unread by millions and free!

Later.

A Normalish Stomp

After my snowshoe lumber (snlumber? lumbershoe? snumbershoe?) on Friday, I came home, made breakfast, and set about getting shit done. Thankfully, there was no need for me to leave the house. So I didn’t. Nor would I leave the house for the next 48+ hours except for brief forays onto the deck to get a couple of bird pics, refill the bird feeders, and yell at Lola to hurry the hell up during one of her shit journeys in the early morning darkness.

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Attitude Adjustment

After Thursday’s short 4.35-mile snowshoe that felt like 20 from breaking trail through fresh snow, I knew I needed to return on Friday with a new plan and a better attitude.

Not that my attitude was bad on Thursday, but after I was done, I felt beat down and winter weary. That will happen in time, usually around late January, but right now it’s way too early not to make some adjustments to find more enjoyment. You know, sort of like life.

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Breaking & Nearly Broke

I took the day off from lumbering on Wednesday due to overnight snow, the need to shovel out a driveway, and a strong desire to not leave the house after I was finished.

So, today I was off like a herd of turtles at daybreak (two full hours after I woke), and eager to be in the snowy woods. Until I got to the snowy woods.

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