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Woo Hoo (Neffness IV)

By on May 1, 2014 in Outdoors

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Last Friday, after Jolanda Neff podiumed at the UCI Eliminator race in Cairns, I commented on Twitter about how every UCI XCO race weekend seems to be filled with a tad more Jolanda “Neffness” (a Tweet which got favorited by the current Women’s UCI XCO series leader I might add). Considering the form she is in right now, I fully expected a good showing from her in Sunday’s XCO race.

With the likes of Gunn-Rita Dahle choosing not to make the trip to Australia, I figured the race could come down to the likes of Neff, her Liv Pro XC teammate, and long time Soiled Chamois favorite, Maja Włoszczowska and experienced racers the likes Sabine Spitz and Irina Kalentieva. It turns out I was sort of right and sort of wrong…

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High Five (why MTB racers rock)

By on April 30, 2014 in Outdoors

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Everyday I field hundreds of emails (not really, not even one) about why I am such a fan of pro mountain bike racing over pro road racing. Well, aside from that fact that I race mountain bikes (or a cross bike on gravel), I don’t really don’t dig the modern-day road racing vibe. On top of that, I’ve only competed in ONE (paved) road race in my entire life (A local race in which I got dropped within the first few miles and rode the next 27 miles solo). I just dig the mountain bike race vibe more than that of our skinny-tired brothers and sisters.

And as if I needed anymore evidence to justify my position, I give you the video clip below (taken via RedBull.TV at round 2 of the UCI XCO World Cup) of Alexandra Engen (Ghost Factory Racing)…

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A Broken Pendrel

By on April 4, 2014 in Outdoors

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Bad luck (again) for Catharine Pendrel! It seems the Luna Chix rider broker her collarbone while training this past Tuesday, April Fools Day. Sadly, this was no bad April Fools joke and there will no racing for Pendrel for the next six weeks. Fortunately no surgery is needed and she is quoted on teamlunachix.com as saying she is “feeling pretty pain-free so far” and “optimistic for a speedy recovery.”

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Vintage Paris-Roubaix & Pornography

By on April 1, 2014 in Cycling, Random

1910parisroubaixI may not have done anything on Monday (except make rice and beans and play basketball with B-Man), and I may have only ridden the trainer for an hour today, but I DID find this bad ass photo from the 1910 Paris-Roubaix to share, so I am pretty sure that the Cycling Gods forgive me for my lackluster two-wheeled training regime. Fuck it.

I would have rather sucked the blood from the neck of my neighbor’s ever barking dogs with my bare face after hitting them with two large cinder blocks, than ride the trainer, but I still did.

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Ira Found

By on March 28, 2014 in Outdoors

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You may or may not remember the February 28th Soiled Chamois post In Search of Ira, where I contemplated the whereabouts of pint-sized, Russian XC racing badass Irina Kalentieva. Well I am happy to say that today, for those race fans who may care, I received official word of her whereabouts (thankfully not in a Siberian gulag) and a hint of her 2014 race plans.

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Newsboy Racing

By on March 26, 2014 in Cycling

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Long before newspapers (remember them) started being delivered by grizzled, cigarette smoking bald men hurling bagged papers out the windows of their muffler-less, rusted out Chevy Novas to help finance their overdue child support*, and well before Kevin Bacon created bike messenger chìc and ushered in a quinquennial wave of movies, documentaries and TV shows about the trade, there were newsboys.

Kids hawking newspapers for coin, many delivering stacks of papers via bicycles, all over cities and towns around the world. Like their great, great grandsons, some–like the lad above– apparently chose to smoke as well. Ah, what’s a lung or two, as long as you’re riding bikes.

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Après Race Essentials I

By on March 13, 2014 in Random

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OK, now shit is starting to get better in my mental dojo! I just found The Sword Black River t-shirt. This is going to be perfect to wear après race this summer and will look awesome as I wield my (yet to be purchased) Viking sword at throngs of recovering racers with one hand and hold aloft a goblet of strong ale (or reasonable facsimile) in the other while screaming “MAKE YOUR STAND WITH THE GREAT HOUND, THE FRONTIER IS LOST! BLACK WATERS LIE BEFORE YOU, TOGETHER YOU CROSS!!” as Jake The Dog walks menacingly at my side (until he falls asleep in a pool of his own jowls).

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F Yeah, It’s The Weekend

By on March 7, 2014 in Random

The weekend is upon us and to celebrate, tonight I am going to cook up some Stromboli, have two to twenty-four Torpedos and (for some unknown reason) listen to some big sounding prog-metal about heads on bloody spears, holy nectar flowing from celestial teats and stuff like that. Now what did I do with my mace and Viking helmet?…

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Neat To Do

By on March 6, 2014 in Mountain Biking, Random

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I’m pretty against the whole “bucket list” thing. Mostly because I already lie awake most nights obsessing about the life I’ve wasted and its inevitable demise, I don’t need to add in a list of unattainable things I want to do before I die to all that self loathing and mental drama. I prefer just to say “yeah, it would be neat to do that.”

Case in point: The Sudety Mountain Bike Challenge. This is a race that I think would be really “neat to do.” I’ve talked about it before here and on the late xxcmag.com  but that won’t stop me from briefly doing so again.

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