Author Archives → soiledchamois

All The Glory

rocd_a

Road racing has the long climbs strewn with screaming “tifosi,” and cross racing has throngs of drunken hecklers in muddy Wellington’s but sadly most mountain bike races are often void of such passionate supporters. So seeing these photos from the 2013 Roc d’Azur in France with thousands of spectators along the climb was pretty cool. I’m content to get a “nice job” from a lone spectator at the top of a climb, so I really can’t fathom making my way up an ascent with literally thousands of people screaming at me.

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Yeah, sissies

Just like cyclists, football (soccer) players don’t get much respect from most of America. They are believed to be “sissies” in contrast to “real ‘Merican man” athletes like American football players, hockey players, bowlers and poker players.

Bullshit.

Take a look at today’s carnage from 4th round FA Cup matches…

Liverpool’s Martin Skrtel had his split open bloody head stapled on the side of the pitch, then continued to play the remaining 40 minutes.

skrthead

Jonathon Parr of Crystal Palace was knocked clean out after a challenge with Wigan’s Callum McManaman.

parrnockedout

And probably the worst: Bryan Oviedo (Everton) snapped leg like in two.

brokeleg

Yeah, sissies.

Gym Follies & Other Stuff

hugmagcov

This week has been a pretty good week of what I call “doing stuff.” Some people call it “training” but I can’t really bring myself to use that term anymore, since I have no idea what I am training for other than to not get any fatter and to ride and race my bike without looking like the complete douche bag that I surely am.

Part of the stuff I do is going to the gym for some strength training and off the bike cardio. It’s nothing over the top and it’s not all that interesting, but this week did have it’s share of ridiculousness…

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Bike Mags & Smut

SONY DSC

So often we hear or use the phrase “bike porn,” (or “bike pron” for those wishing to mask their digital tracks) when talking about bikes we are lusting after. So, the other day while on the trainer, I started wondering what might happen if you crossed a story that one (might) find in a smut mag with a story about riding bikes. It seemed like it would be easy and sort of a goof to do, so I did a little Googling, followed by a bit of history deleting, and found a site that, (surprisingly) I had never been on before. The site had a ton of reprinted (so NOT MTBR) Forum stories that I think were featured in a that one mag that refers to their centerfolds as “pets” (please ignore that little dose of misogyny, thanks).

At first, the experiment was proving difficult, I mean some of the stories were freaking over the top! But after perusing a few, I found one that would work well enough and have shared my “new” version below. For the record I straight up plagiarized this story written by T.P. From Austin, Texas (no, I am not going to link you to the original and I don’t really care about the plagiarizing since Mr. T.P. didn’t even give his really freaking name). The red text is the text that I swapped or added to make this all happen.

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The Struggle

I got me a case of writer’s block. It’s not entirely my fault, it just that there is NOTHING going on except zero degree temps and snow. OK, there are things going one but I’m talking about things that are worth talking about. The following is a list of things that I thought about blathering on about but realized there was no real point…

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