Archive | Random

Mandatory Polar Vortex Post

By soiledchamois on January 6, 2014 in Random

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Most of the U.S. is dug polar icecap deep into Jack Frost’s frigid anal vortex, and as you can imagine, we here in Michigan are tickling his nether regions REALY good (of course we’re making Detroit do all the dirty work). I mean shit is Fargo ass COLD! So, I figured I would jump on the “IT’S FUCKING COLD, LOOK HOW HARD MY NIPPLES ARE!” bandwagon today with a pic of Jake The Dog out doing ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING in -25˚ winds while I stand there like a frozen fucking idiot. Fucking dogs… Fucking dog OWNERS. Morons.

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On The Couch With 2013

By soiledchamois on December 31, 2013 in Random

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Sorry to get personal here, but I figured since I mentioned my new modest and hopefully attainable 2014 resolutions the other day, I would follow-up on Last year’s laundry list of resolutions:

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Some Future Projects

By soiledchamois on December 31, 2013 in Random

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Due to my continued joblessness I have concocted a possible idea based on some photos I took…

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A Short Break Of Sorts

By soiledchamois on December 22, 2013 in Random

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Wow, what to say about the past week? We’ve had snow, ice, sleet, ice again and then more snow. All that was enough to close schools, make traveling treacherous at times and ruin the local cross-country skiing. At the same time in my soon to be returned to homeland of Western PA they had temps in the 60s and rain. At least I won’t feel homesick when we travel to WPA this week, since by Tuesday temps will be VERY Michigan-like. Brilliant.

Much of my “doing stuff” the last few days was ruined due to the ice and snow. BUT it was still an OK-ish time and I did get some time in on the trainer to burn some pre-Christmas calories. Too bad I put them all right back on by finding Founder’s Imperial Stout at the beer store on Saturday.

I will (most likely) be taking a break from blogging over the holiday week. I won’t be going to the gym, riding, skiing, cooking or drinking. Just vegetating and counting the minutes until I return home.

Many of my fellow Michigander-burgher-ites are without power due to all the snow, ice and wind. I hope that they all get their power back soon so as to enjoy the holiday.

Have a great holiday. Ride, hike, ski, walk, sit, drink, eat, have fun, vegetate, do whatever it is that makes you happy until we usher in the new year.

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, peace on earth, get the Led out, etc., etc., etc.,

Better Than Nothing

By soiledchamois on December 18, 2013 in Outdoors, Random

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I’ve mentioned more than a few times that I have a road loop I call the Better Than The Trainer Ride. It’s just what the names says it is; a ride that is better than the trainer but not much more. It can clock in at between 22 and 25 miles and is used when time is tight or the weather looks shit. After my second ski of the winter I realized a loop around Deerfield Park is about the same thing. NOT a ride by any means but it gets about the same thing done

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Like It Or Not

By soiledchamois on December 16, 2013 in Outdoors, Random

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Prior to this past week, there were threats here and there that winter was coming, but it’s now official–despite what the calendar tells us– winter with all its teeth grinding cold and blustery ice and snow is here. I could complain about it, Nay! I WILL complain it about over the coming months, but when you get down to it, there’s nothing any of us can do about it, especially a sub-par blogger and mortal human like me. Winter is here and survival (both mental and physical) is key.

To survive, some will ride fat bikes, some will brave the icy pavement on road bikes and some (like me) will retreat to the woods on snowshoes and cross-country skis (no matter how lackluster their skills), to basements and garages to climb aboard stationary trainers, or to the humid crotch-like stank of the gym. Almost everyone will bitch about it at some time or another. Such is life.

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Drinking Local (In The 989) II

By soiledchamois on December 13, 2013 in Food & Drink, Random

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Bell’s beers are brewed here in Michigan, but I wouldn’t say they are exactly local (in the 989) with the brewery located a couple of hours southwest in Kalamazoo County. However they are more local than I had though! It turns out that the 2-row barley used in their Midwestern Pale Ale, Christmas Ale (seen in my fridge drawer above) and Harvest Ale is grown just a few minutes from my house on a farm down in Shepherd, Michigan. A farm that I have no doubt passed at one time or another on my rides. Of course I’ve ridden by so many farms, they all start to look alike.

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As you can see, the Shepherd wheat field and farm are both depicted on the labels of the Christmas Ale and the Midwestern Pale Ale. It’s pretty neat to know that beer that I enjoy quite often is made with ingredients grown just minutes from my home. You can see more about the Bell’s Brewery Farm at bellsbeer.com.

By the way, Bells’ Christmas Ale is one of my favorites of the season. It’s unusual in that it doesn’t have all the spices that one comes to expect in a Christmas beer, yet the lack of hops and the malts they use somehow give it a bready, candied toffee/carmel-ish taste that is very Christmasy and reminiscent of a Scottish Ale. I didn’t think I would be into it, since I usually like either BIG hoppy IPAs and Oatmeal and Imperial Stouts, but I am digging it.

Random Cross Scan

By soiledchamois on December 12, 2013 in Random

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Here’s a random scan from the April, 1990 issue of Winning, Bicycle Racing Illustrated magazine. The subsequent over processing in Photoshop was done by me for no reason other than sheer boredom. The race is the 1990 World Cup, the racer in front is Adri van der Poel (I believe). The racer behind looks like he could be related to Jeremy Powers.

Photo credit: Unknown, as it was not listed in the article.

The Nothingness of Dec. 11th

By soiledchamois on December 11, 2013 in Random

Today was another day on planet Hoth (AKA Michigan). Wind swept frozen snow and ice now covers everything and probably will until June. As per my standard operating procedure, I did not ride outside but did go to the gym for my cardio and strength training. It was pretty uneventful other than seeing one of the many characters I have come to encounter (or make up in my mind based on their appearance alone) each visit… today it was the Lesbian Mafioso.

Who is she? Hell, I don’t know, what I do know is that I spent my first few visits assuming she was a 50-year-old man. I’m not trying to be a dick or rude, I just thought she was a dude with a mullet and a track suit. Turns out he’s a woman, and from what I can tell, based on recently seeing her at the grocery store with her kids, NOT a lesbian (not that there’s anything wrong with that). I also have my doubts that she’s in the Mafia but if you don’t want to be stereotyped as such, don’t drive a Cadillac and wear track suits while looking like a high school gym teacher circa 1989. How do I creepily know so much about her? Easy, she pulled into the gym parking lot the same time I did one day driving a Cadillac and she always wears track suits.

All this makes me sound like I am nebby, prejudice, judgemental and homophobic doesn’t it? I swear, all this is in jest, not to mention if you would see her, you too would think that she’s a lesbian Good Fella. OK, forget all that, I am grasping at straws for something to write about. I guess I could talk about my past history of not doing stuff or not doing enough to make me a better bike rider or racer? OK, I will…

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It’s About Ned

By soiledchamois on December 11, 2013 in Mountain Biking, Random

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I would say that 99.9% of cyclists (including myself) were pretty pissed and disappointed at Specialized and their corporate wankery towards the Cafe Roubaix shop. I am also relieved to see that things are smoothing out and we don’t have to hear about it anymore. I hadn’t even planned on mentioning the whole small shop vs giant bike brand with apparently nothing else to worry about saga, since just about every single cycling media (and pseudo cycling media) outlet already has. BUT, I wanted to repost (for my sake) a little PS piece that I did for xxcmag.com a while back and figured I better justify giving Specialized any free positive coverage (fingers are still crossed they don’t sue me for mentioning their name here).

Oh well, this isn’t about the bike anyway, it’s about Ned. Dude was a mountain bike legend no matter who he raced for or what he raced on. Who among us hasn’t at least taken a peek inside his book Mountain Bike Like A Champion while loitering around Barnes & Noble, drinking coffee and not buying anything? Hmm… in hindsight I should have really paid more attention to the chapter on high-speed turns.