NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY 80.
“I can go out. I can go in.
Out. In.
Out. In. In. Out.
Out. In.”
– Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H
I wrote the first edition of The Quarantine Chronicles 80 days ago today. With Monday’s announcement from my girl G.W. lifting the Stay at Home order for Michigander’s, I have decided that this will be the last post in the series.
NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.
In my previous post, I talked of being on a mood rollercoaster. Well, that rollercoaster went off the rails and smashed right into a crowded elephant ears stand a hundred feet below.
NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.
“I’ve got a ticket come ride with me
Let me go down on the merry-go-round
All is fair ‘n’ a big fairground
Let’s go slow, let’s go fast
Like a licorice twist gonna whip your ass.”
–Love Rollercoaster, Ohio Players
Other than having the word “rollercoaster” in the song, the lyrical reference above from funk legends Ohio Players does absolutely nothing to illustrate the mood rollercoaster that I—and many others—have been experiencing during Pandemic-A-Go-Go 2020.
NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.
As Pandemic-A-Go-Go 2020 weekends go, this one was pretty darn, not bad-ish. I mean, if you take out the facts that for the first Mother’s Day weekend in about 7 years, Wifey and I were not watching B play footy at the Midland tourney, that any time I cough, I briefly spiral into mind-racing thoughts of having “the” COVID, or that I have to mask up to enter a store with no plans of robbing it, only to find myself surrounded by maskless rim lickers showing me that they have the MAGA American God1-given right to not wear a mask and help prevent the further spread of a virus. Yeah, if you take that shit out, it was all pretty normal and sort of fun.
NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.
I spent the whole of Friday edging2.
NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.
Some days are pretty darn OK, even when they don’t offer one all that much. Such was the case with my Thursday, Day ____ of being Not Really Quarantined during Pandemic-A-Go-Go 2020.
NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.
After Sunday morning’s lackluster dirt road ride, I promised myself two things:
NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.
THURSDAY, 10:13 AM
I’ve looked at this blank page of digital nothingness for too long. I’ve got nothing right now. If I stay here looking at the blankness for any longer, I won’t be able to not talk about the fact that I know, ACTUALLY FUCKING KNOW, a COVID denier.
NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.
“Who was that masked man?
“That’s that chubby guy that’s in here like three times a week buying beer and stuff to make crap Mexican food.”
“Oh, he seemed so confident and manly. I thought maybe it was someone cool.”
“Nope, just a fat guy who drinks too much beer, and eats a lot of Mexican food wearing a homemade surgical mask.”
*BOTH GROCERY CLERKS LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY*
*CREDITS ROLL*
NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.
In these days of “the” COVID, and Pandemic-A-Go-Go-ing, if I hesitate for even a moment to do something productive (enough), the moment can quite possibly be lost forever and I’ll find myself sitting in my chair waiting for 3:01 PM4, listening to music until I deem it time to make dinner, watch multiple episodes of Fauda on Netflix and think about going to bed before 7:20.
