I’ve mentioned more than a few times that I have a road loop I call the Better Than The Trainer Ride. It’s just what the names says it is; a ride that is better than the trainer but not much more. It can clock in at between 22 and 25 miles and is used when time is tight or the weather looks shit. After my second ski of the winter I realized a loop around Deerfield Park is about the same thing. NOT a ride by any means but it gets about the same thing done
Prior to this past week, there were threats here and there that winter was coming, but it’s now official–despite what the calendar tells us– winter with all its teeth grinding cold and blustery ice and snow is here. I could complain about it, Nay! I WILL complain it about over the coming months, but when you get down to it, there’s nothing any of us can do about it, especially a sub-par blogger and mortal human like me. Winter is here and survival (both mental and physical) is key.
To survive, some will ride fat bikes, some will brave the icy pavement on road bikes and some (like me) will retreat to the woods on snowshoes and cross-country skis (no matter how lackluster their skills), to basements and garages to climb aboard stationary trainers, or to the humid crotch-like stank of the gym. Almost everyone will bitch about it at some time or another. Such is life.
Today was another day on planet Hoth (AKA Michigan). Wind swept frozen snow and ice now covers everything and probably will until June. As per my standard operating procedure, I did not ride outside but did go to the gym for my cardio and strength training. It was pretty uneventful other than seeing one of the many characters I have come to encounter (or make up in my mind based on their appearance alone) each visit… today it was the Lesbian Mafioso.
Who is she? Hell, I don’t know, what I do know is that I spent my first few visits assuming she was a 50-year-old man. I’m not trying to be a dick or rude, I just thought she was a dude with a mullet and a track suit. Turns out he’s a woman, and from what I can tell, based on recently seeing her at the grocery store with her kids, NOT a lesbian (not that there’s anything wrong with that). I also have my doubts that she’s in the Mafia but if you don’t want to be stereotyped as such, don’t drive a Cadillac and wear track suits while looking like a high school gym teacher circa 1989. How do I creepily know so much about her? Easy, she pulled into the gym parking lot the same time I did one day driving a Cadillac and she always wears track suits.
All this makes me sound like I am nebby, prejudice, judgemental and homophobic doesn’t it? I swear, all this is in jest, not to mention if you would see her, you too would think that she’s a lesbian Good Fella. OK, forget all that, I am grasping at straws for something to write about. I guess I could talk about my past history of not doing stuff or not doing enough to make me a better bike rider or racer? OK, I will…
In attempts to get my head out of what Wifey so often refers to as The Bell Jar, I forced myself to dawn six layers of gear and go for a ride at Mid today. The result? Well, it was nice to get outside and out of the gym and basement, but the conditions were not all that ideal. It still helped a bit though.
The trainer; instrument of physical and mental torture to some, hated by many. Me? I’m OK with it.
As you may or may not know, I hesitate to call my riding, time on the trainer and in the gym “training.” I suppose it sort of is, but I think of it more as “doing stuff” so as not to get even fatter… and an attempt to get back to just mildly embarrassing myself on the bike next season (oppose to completely embarrassing myself as I did in 2013). Having once again said that disclaimer of my slackness and douchery I can get to the post at hand…
I’m not a fan of the time trial (individual or team) unless it’s vintage pre-time trial bike, pre-aero helmet stuff (like the pic above featuring Jacques Anquetil circa 1953) or on dirt (like the Yankee Springs Time Trial here in Michigan each spring). While I have NO plans to ever do a road time trial, I do plan on returning to Yankee this spring. This winter I also plan on continuing my version of the time trial on the trainer; pedaling my ass off, going nowhere for 15 miles trying to best the time before. It’s basically doing lactate threshold training but that sounds all fancy and like I actually know what I’m doing. Since I don’t, and tend to wing things by the seat of my soiled chamois, I just call it doing a time trial.
I guess you could call this Welcome Winter Weekend. Some say “welcome,” I say “fuck it, I hate winter.”
Balls Deep In Deer
Even though Michigan is balls deep into deer season, I took a chance and rode in the woods today anyway. My local trails are on non-hunting land, but they still come close to private land and have a slight reroute to try and keep meaty bike geeks like me from getting capped in the buttocks, but it is still a bit of a risk since I think I read once that a rifle bullet can travel like 32 miles or something ridiculous like that. OK, maybe not that far, but pretty far. I left my fur riding vest and antler helmet at home just in case.
The Pic
The tree in the pic above fell across the trail a year or two ago. I pass it EVERY ride but only today stopped to take a look at its rings (mostly due to having to wiz). Pretty cool to see the rings n’at..
In between my days at the gym I have been trying to get out and enjoy the dirt before the snow flies. As you can see from the ground in the pic above, it has been flying here and there but it has a long way to go before it causes any worry or would make me think about maybe regretting not purchasing a fat bike.