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Blubber and Rubber

By on July 1, 2018 in Cycling

As I eluded to in the last post, mid-Michigan was about to/is getting bitch slapped in the face with the meaty dick of a heat wave. I was quite used to warm humid summers under “partly cloudy”1 skies back in Pittsburgh, but here in Michigan, with 8 months of cold temps, a 95˚ day feels like it’s 350˚ and the air is like breathing through the UltimAir 100% polyester crotch of a size 3XL pair of Breezies™ whilst being worn by a 6XL QVC home shopper. While some may find that incredibly erotic and spank-worthy, I do not. Well, at least not while riding my bike.

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Am I Really Doing This?

By on May 31, 2018 in Cycling

After nearly a week or more of being off the bike due to weather, a weekend of soccer tournament festivities, and other crank blocks I finally got some saddle time in on Wednesday.

I did a loop south of town and it felt great to be back in the saddle. Due to some issues with the Boone, it wasn’t the saddle I thought it was going to be, but the PrOcal’s saddle is still a saddle and I was in it, that’s all that matters.

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Damp Dirt

By on May 24, 2018 in Cycling

After two days of stomping around various woods and nature preserves in mid-Michigan, I finally got out to ride some dirt roads south of town on Wednesday.

I had put off riding the dirt roads for a couple days due to multiple overnight rains and from my experiences yesterday that was a good idea!

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Some Saddle Time

By on May 15, 2018 in Cycling

As I assumed, the weekend was void of anything other than traveling to and from and watching soccer games at B’s tournament. That’s fine with me; I love watching him play and his team won the U14 Division Championship. The competition wasn’t as strong as they’re used to facing in league play but it was still a good time.

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Monday Quickie

By on May 1, 2018 in Cycling

I’m pretty sure I rode my bike last Thursday; yeah, yeah, that seems right. My ass was scared and bloody and then I spent three days driving to various points around Michigan to watch B-Man play footy whilst hoping the crusty scars on my ass didn’t open and bleed through my pants.

After three days off the bike, I FINALLY got out for a couple hours today. Sadly, it got off to a rocky start…

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Is it Spring?

By on April 24, 2018 in Cycling

Three rides in four days and two flabby, sunburnt granny arms have me thinking that it just might spring here in mid-Michigan. Of course, we’ve had snow flurries in May some years, so I’m not gonna bust out the little J-Man’s banana hammock just yet.

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Two Weeks in One

By on April 14, 2018 in Cycling

What a strange week of busy work, doing stuff, riding, and weather.

Amazingly enough, I got three rides in this week. All three were rather short but all three were good, and different in their own way.

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Paper Over Cracks

By on April 11, 2018 in Cycling

Finally, after what has seemed like an eternity, I was able to get outside for ride today.

To make a short (ride) story even shorter: I went for a ride that was a mix of pavement and dirt, it was sunny, it was (still) cold, and I didn’t go that far (22.5 miles), but it was just what I need to feel semi-OK-ish. Hazzah!

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Varying Degrees

By on April 2, 2018 in Cycling

For me, this time of year between winter and actual spring is one of the worst times. It can often LOOK like it’s a beautiful spring day but upon leaving the house you quickly realize that it’s only 30˚ with a 20+ MPH wind which makes it feel like it’s 15˚ and despite the winter gear that you stuffed your muffin top into you want to turn around, head home and crawl into your still warm bed in the Chamber of Farts.

The “you” in the above scenario is, of course, me, and this happened to me on my rides on both Friday and Sunday and resulted in varying degrees of suck that left me wanting a new hobby that doesn’t require freezing my face off and uncontrollably cussing into the deafening wind like a Tourettes riddled fat man in a lycra sausage casing.

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