The snow of Sunday gave way to sun, and melting snows on Monday; followed by days of rain. Pretty typical spring weather. With that, saddle time has been non-existent, but sometimes I’m OK with that. As life goes on, cycling is something I like to do, not something I have to do, rely on for my identity, feel pressure to do, or rely on for my sanity. Sorry, I digress.
After I hit publish on my last post, I was anxious to get outside to ride again. Sadly, after I looked at everything that needed to be done around the house—and elsewhere—before we went to pick up our new bulldog puppy late Friday afternoon, I reconsidered and slipped into a world void of riding and littered with chew toys and puppy prep.
Most medications include some lawyerish words that say something about “take as prescribed.” I can see that, despite being back to riding outside, my cycling has taken on a bit of a “ride as wanted” air. There is nothing at all wrong with that, but I must learn to accept the pitfalls (weight gain, increased pant size, lack of fitness, etc.) that come with such a slack attitude. Thankfully I wanted to ride on Tuesday, because despite the crisp, not all that spring-like air, the 25 miles ride in the sun was just what I needed, and nature rewarded me.
It took 145 days, or 4 months and 24 days if you like counting that way better, for me to finally make it back outside for a ride. There was much rejoicing; there was also some “what the fuckery?” and some generous helpings of self-loathing on the sad topic of what I’ve let myself become (spoiler alert: fat, drunk, and stupid).
We’ll get to the ride soon enough, but given there’s not much to talk about, let’s backtrack for a little bit and talk birds, dogs, and beers.
You wouldn’t know it by my lack of posts, or my ever-expanding waistline, but I think I might FINALLY be back to being 100% physically, and 69% (NICE!) mentally, which IS pretty much 100% for me.
I don’t want to say I feel like I’m back to normal, but I’m feeling about as normal as I’ve felt in a long time. Physically, of course, the S.S. Mental Normality sailed long ago and is presumed sunk at the bottom of the ocean with no survivors.
To say I am driving Wifey nuts with worry about me is an understatement. That is not my intention, but that has been the result.
Most of my days since the last post were spent doing more of the same stuff: snowshoeing, Zwift™-ing, making/eating food, drinking beer, watching football, self-loathing, and cursing my existence. The usual.
Other than sleeping, the motivation for “doing stuff”1 has been low. Like, old man testies sort of low. Still, I’ve managed to do what I can with the scraps of motivation I have left in me after a month-long illness, a seriously infected cut on my leg, a self-esteem that’s plunging further and further into the nether regions of my stank anus of a psyche, and a winter that shows no sign of releasing its murderous grip from Michigan’s throat.
Sweet Gabriel Jesus, it took me forever to beat that chest cold, but I finally did it!
