The week started with two days of indoor lumbering/running (not affiliated with the 2026 Soiled and Ignorant Tour), and was followed by two days and 8 miles on trails covered with solid ice, slush, and standing water. Which, come Friday, I had had enough of. Well, at least my feet had enough of the lateral torsion caused by hiking on lumpy ice and slush.
We sort of lucked out on Tuesday when the predicted day of ice and sleet ended up being a day of rain, on top of 3 or 4 inches of remaining snow and ice. This made for some Grade-A winter slop. It also forced me to retreat to the Not-So-Stankment to bust out another 3 miles of intervals on the treadmill, leaving some Grade-A sweat and uncontrollable projectile body fluids in my wake.
After two days and six miles of running intervals, I was determined to get into the woods on Wednesday for some miles and pics.
I was up early as per usual, got my gear together, and then proceeded to do some laundry and make Wifey breakfast as I waited for daylight to make an appearance.
Since I traded bikes for hiking shoes, I have mentally survived the winter months way better than before. Along with losing the anxiety of smashing my blood-thinned body on the ice (again), proper equipment—much of it left over my from cycling days—for the long winter has helped a ton; proper jacket, base layers, GORE-TEX shoes, gaiters, trekking poles, micro spikes, and snowshoes, if necessary, have all made venturing out into the snow and ice more tolerable and downright fun at times.
As has been my norm for a number of years now, I was in bed at roughly 9 PM on New Year’s Eve. I get NOTHING out of New Year’s anymore, which is a shame, because that’s the night that Wifey and I met many years ago.
So, we kissed and hugged it out around 9, wished each other Happy New Year, and I was off to bed, with Wifey and Lola not far behind me.
Out of The Woods, Day 7
The freezing rain and winds have finally diminished, and in their wake have left numerous trees down and some side roads (including our street) a snow and ice-packed mess.
Since I try not to be too big of a self-serving outdoor prick, I figured I would stay out of the woods another day to give the park workers a chance to clear the downed trees and the mess that the storm left behind. I don’t think they need a fat hiker with a camera getting in their way.
With that, I was in the Not So Stankment for another 3 miles of intervals.
My plan was just to do a long-ish lumber, but once I got warmed up, that seemed stupid, and a real mental nut kick, so I turned up some old DJ mixes on Soundcloud and got to the intervals.
There was much sweat, and the realization that staring straight into a replay of an EFL Championship match is NOT a proper replacement for woods and critters. And despite the music making want to attempt to twerk whilst running, thumping bass and breakbeats are no replacement for birds chirping or the babbling of the running river.
This is my second 3-mile interval session in four days, and while I am not a fan, it has helped keep me relatively sane and once again has me wanting to get back to trail running again. Well, at least my Fat But Fit version of trail running that involves plenty of gasping, winded cries of “fuck, oh fuck,” and flirtations with hurling myself onto the trail in a heap of pain.
Trail running (or a shambolic, belly-heaving jog in the woods) is always a great reminder to me that I DON’T RUN! But it also serves as a strange on/off-again goal that has frustrated me for years, yet still has me longing to do it consistently. I might not ever say I DO RUN! But I’d be stoked with I CAN RUN! I just choose when I want to do it.
Later.
In my last post, I lamented the fact that mid-Michigan was hit with an ice storm that made driving the trails pretty dumb. That was Friday.
Saturday, the ice was still here, but given that we lacked a number of kitchen staples, I made an early morning trip to the grocery store instead of the trails. Later that day, we got even more ice.
Sunday came, and guess what? ANOTHER day of freezing rain and ice. Meanwhile, an hour away in Lansing, a friend of ours said it was 46˚.
I took the day off from lumbering on Wednesday due to overnight snow, the need to shovel out a driveway, and a strong desire to not leave the house after I was finished.
So, today I was off like a herd of turtles at daybreak (two full hours after I woke), and eager to be in the snowy woods. Until I got to the snowy woods.
Lola (the dog), or should I say, Lola the Hairy Food Slut, was up around 4:45 AM this morning, WAY before my 5:20 alarm, wanting food. She was denied, but once you hear a, shall we say, “robustly built” bulldog rambling down the steps like a herd of cattle to do whatever a hungry bulldog does alone in a dark living room, you never really fall back to sleep. However, I stayed in bed just to prove a point—I will not be bullied by my bulldog!!
When I did finally get up at 5:20, Lola excitedly chased me around the kitchen and then ran outside into the dark and cold to do her business, completely oblivious to the two deer standing roughly 20 yards away from her. This was on the heels of a 25-minute growling stare down with a large block of suet my neighbor had put in his yard for the critters two days ago. Deer? Who cares! Block of suet? I’LL KILL YOU DEAD!! Or at least relentlessly growl from a distance, while looking out the door window, safely inside my human’s house.
Tuesday, 7:25 AM
I was up at my customary 5:20 AM to feed Lola and coffee up before getting ready for my lumber. Sadly, Ma Nature would throw me a snowy curveball.
There was no weekend lumbering or photo creeping, but it was still pretty swell.
Wifey and I were up at the ass crack of dawn on Saturday to eat breakfast, coffee up, and dump out before the Jingle All The Way 5K in town at 8:30 AM. Wifey was running it, and I was there to cheer her on and get some photographs.