Posts Tagged → unfunny commentary
Being Stupid
As any reader of this blog knows, I am not a smart man. Intelligence is a rare commodity betweenst my ears and I did nothing this weekend to prove any different.
Being Honest & Dirt Roads
Yesterday was all about getting some longish Weekday Ride road miles in. Today was all about doing an easy ride out on the dirt roads for an hour and a half in the wind and seeing how the Clement X’Plor USH 700 x 35 tires I bought WAY back in January, and finally installed this week, rolled.
The Ditching of Subparness
It took two days, but I was finally able to get out on the bike for a road ride. It has also taken what seems like a lifetime to get out on the road and not have multiple layers of clothing on. Not to jinx it, but looking at the long-range forecast, it seems like spring and/or summer may have finally sprung for good here in Michiganderburgh.
An Improvement of Sorts
Ride Part I, the part where I reckon I was faster than last week for no reason whatsoever.
Last week I took my road bike out for the first time in 2014. I had written that I felt swell during the 41 mile ride but was sort of pissed to come home and check my files (which serve no real purposed to a schlep like me) and see that I was over ten minutes slower than my best effort last year. Thankfully things got a tad better today, even with a slightly gimpy-ish neck and back.
Waiting
Jake (the dog) never waits too long at the door before he’s back in the house to do what Jake (the dog) does best: sleep, fart, snore, eat, burp and sleep some more more before going back out to take a dump. And I did’t wait too long after Sunday’s blunderful crash to get back at trying to burn off the fleshy kegs attached to all sides of my torso. However, I did wait longer than I thought I would have to.
The New Non Team
You may or may not (probably not) remember my post a while back on the isolati. If you don’t remember (and you probably don’t) I will quote the post…
…earlier this week as I continued to delve further into the book Maglia Rosa, I stumbled upon a word that was used in the early days of the Giro to describe the amateur racers, who didn’t ride for a team, just for themselves, room and board… they were called the isolati.
I was drawn to this concept for some unknown reason. Whooooo, wait a good-God-damn-minute. Fuck that, that’s a lie. I was drawn to it because the isolati were badasses. They were considered unpaid pariahs of the peloton. The only racers below them was the aspiranti (which I just MIGHT be drawn to even more and will be featured on a future jersey! Ha!)
The Non Ride Ride
I woke up at 7 this morning to the sound of more rain pelting the windows. So, I rolled over and went back to sleep. An hour later the rain was slowing down, so I forced myself out of bed and downstairs to drink some coffee, watch some sub-par football and make sure Jake (the dog) didn’t shit the house.
As I ushered Jake off the porch I cursed the continued rain and chilly temps and conceded that I would most likely end up on the trainer today. Shit.
After a match and half of football, breakfast, about 200 ounces of coffee and multiple colon evacuations, I got caught up reading some stuff about the Giro online (maybe the greatest stage race of all time). Rain be damned, I was going for a ride!
I checked the radar (it looked like I would be OK), hurriedly got my gear together, kitted up and grabbed my cross bike. I would be road riding but my road bike is still on the trainer with a nasty ass, ever balding rear tire, so the Jake would have to do. I took off down the road and I just didn’t feel right on the bike. I pedaled to the edge of town and realized my saddle was a bit too low. Shit.
All But Over?
We are just two rounds into the 2014 UCI XCO series and the Men’s overall title is looking like it MIGHT be all but wrapped up. The reasons? Julien Absalon and Nino Schurter…
High Five (why MTB racers rock)
Everyday I field hundreds of emails (not really, not even one) about why I am such a fan of pro mountain bike racing over pro road racing. Well, aside from that fact that I race mountain bikes (or a cross bike on gravel), I don’t really don’t dig the modern-day road racing vibe. On top of that, I’ve only competed in ONE (paved) road race in my entire life (A local race in which I got dropped within the first few miles and rode the next 27 miles solo). I just dig the mountain bike race vibe more than that of our skinny-tired brothers and sisters.
And as if I needed anymore evidence to justify my position, I give you the video clip below (taken via RedBull.TV at round 2 of the UCI XCO World Cup) of Alexandra Engen (Ghost Factory Racing)…