Tag Archives | feeling mental

Missed Goals & Other Things

Back in early 2017 I had a doctor’s appointment in which I was encouraged to think about losing a few pounds. In turn, I cut back my liquid calories (beer), tried to control my portion sizes, upped my mileage on the bike, and flirted with the goal of 5,000 miles by January 1, 2018. That resulted in losing almost 15 pounds by my next visit in early May. I was stoked, at least for a little while.

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Finding the Positive

You might not know it from the shit I type on this digital fish wrap, but these days I really do try to look on the brighter side of things. I’ve lived so much of my life ashamed, depressed, moody, and bitter that sometimes it’s easier just to be Moody Bitter Guy rather than someone who can legitimately weigh the pros and cons of a situation and then make a rational, sane judgment. In other words, I’m learning how not to be an asshole.

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The Post Since The Last

At the end of my last post I mentioned that I was getting ready to head up to MMCC to ride some singletrack. I did, it was fun, and unbelievable that it happened nearly a week ago. I got sidetracked, then did other stuff, then got busy, then got sidetracked again. In this post I do some catchup with riding and life, mostly with the use of photos.

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Suffered 16

I took today (Thursday) off the bike for a couple of reasons:  1. I needed to get some shit done and 2. Wednesday’s ride sucked, sucked real bad and I wanted a break. I should clarify that the ride didn’t suck, the bike didn’t suck–I sucked!

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The Last Two

The promise I made to myself to get back into the routine of riding and writing was short-lived. The riding part held up, but I fell short with the writing. I got caught up in processing photos from last Thursday night’s Alma MTB Time Trial, riding, taking and processing my own photos from rides and a rainy Saturday hike. There was also some bitterness and depression, too many beers, and bidding farewell to my friend Mike at his memorial service on Sunday.

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Lowering The Bar

This summer I have truly lowered the bar for this blog. I know, I know, that’s seemingly impossible, but I’ve done it. Having said that, I have a list of excuses (and rebuttals) ready to go…

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Easier Not Better

A little over a week ago, in the wake of my friend Mike’s passing, I contemplated ditching my bike completely. The prospect of riding my bike on roads and dealing with the ongoing losing battle that cyclists face with motorists was something that I wanted no part of, nor did I want my family to be part of it. Given my ever growing figure, surely I am now built better for such sports as poker, online gaming, and competitive masturbation, more than cycling, so saying fuck it and ordering a copy of The Idiot’s Guide to Poker was at the forefront of my mind. 1.

With the support of friends (some close, some via social media, and emails), I was encouraged to get back on the bike, and to not let the cars win the mental battle (we all know they’ll win the physical battle). As you may have seen in some previous posts, I did get back on the bike, and it was OK enough.

Since that last post, I am happy to say that getting out and riding has gotten easier, but not exactly better.

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The Slow Return

Fun fact for you (not really a fact, more of a story), about 3 years ago I bought a white button down shirt at a local department store to wear for a job interview. Or maybe it was a funeral? Either way, it was for something un-fun. Anyway, I bought the shirt, got it home, took the 2,000,000 pins and plastic clips out of it, tried it on and realized that the sleeves came up to my elbows. Shit, I need to return it.

I gathered up the shirt, the pins, and the plastic clips off the bed, shoved it into the bag and headed back to the store.

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