Paradise Part I

Note: This is a pseudo cycling blog. This post is not about cycling; it is about my recent trip to the U.P. with my family. It’s a long account written—as per usual—more for me than anyone else. The trip will be broken into four parts. The time betweenst each of these posts will be filled with my usual tales of crap rides, short hikes, “needs work” photos and bad writing.

Thanks,

Management


We got up Saturday morning and finished the last of our overpacking before heading off into the rain for a three and a half hour drive to Paradise, Michigan in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.

We’ve been to the U.P. a couple of times in the past. Twice we’ve gone to Marquette, so I could race the Ore to Shore and do Marquette area stuff, and then on to Copper Harbor to do Copper Harbor stuff like chill on the beach and mountain bike the shit ton of trails there. Honestly, I had never even heard of Paradise, Michigan until Wifey suggested that we go there for a summer getaway after our original plan of a trip to Colorado was shelved.

I had no urge for a cycling vacation but always prefer a trip that is geared towards outdoor activities rather than overpriced, stand in line organized fun that always lets me down. Wifey assured me that there was plenty of hiking to be done, waterfalls to enjoy, low-key beaches to chill on, woodsy beauty to soak up, wild critters see, and plenty of opportunities for me to click some pics. I was in.

The great thing about this trip was that in just a little over three hours of easy driving we were across the bridge and at our destination, ready to get our Yooper on for a few days.

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Forest Creeper

I knew going into Friday that a ride wouldn’t be in the works. So, between rainy morning errands and an afternoon spent finally cleaning our garage, having junk hauled away, and taking tires to the recycling center, I headed to the Sylvan Preserve to hike, er walk a few miles with my camera.

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Doggone Sweet Relief

Friday finally brought some sweet relief from the intense heat and humidity that we’ve been having. Usually, such a drop in temps is preceded by thunderstorms and heavy rains that would turn the dirt roads into a rutted, muddy mess, but this time the cool temps just sort of appeared. With that, I was looking forward to getting out for a few miles on the dirt roads south of town without feeling like I was riding in a treeless rainforest.

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A Break From Nothing

After Saturday’s sweat-soaked, meaty dick slap to the face/Breezies™ huff of a shit ride in the heat and humidity, I was toast (almost literally). I felt almost as broken as I do after every ride from December to April. Only this time I was shaking my fist angrily towards the heavens cursing the unholy creation of heat and humidity instead of snow and sub-zero wind chills. A break was due.

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Blubber and Rubber

As I eluded to in the last post, mid-Michigan was about to/is getting bitch slapped in the face with the meaty dick of a heat wave. I was quite used to warm humid summers under “partly cloudy”1 skies back in Pittsburgh, but here in Michigan, with 8 months of cold temps, a 95˚ day feels like it’s 350˚ and the air is like breathing through the UltimAir 100% polyester crotch of a size 3XL pair of Breezies™ whilst being worn by a 6XL QVC home shopper. While some may find that incredibly erotic and spank-worthy, I do not. Well, at least not while riding my bike.

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