Note: This post may or may not sound like I’m a six-pack of beer and a 5 gallon-sized bag of weed into the weekend, but I assure you it’s only fueled by coffee, too much time on my hands, and cold rain pelting against my office window.
Archive | May, 2021
Nothing and Awards
I type this with one goal in mind: get to the end. Fast.
Dang Quesadillas!
Like the potent, sour smell of the men’s room in the mall, I’m back.
Other Stuff
It’s been a while since I felt the need to post here. To be honest, I still don’t feel the need to post here, yet here we are.
Advice Sort of Taken
The following is a conversation I had with my editor yesterday. I sort of took her advice.
Me: Guess what, I did it!
Stacy B: Did what?
Me: I went back to the gym.
Stacy B: Oh.
Me: I’m going to write a blog post about it.
Stacy B: Hmmm… Literally, no one will care.
Me: Why not? It had been over a year of daily COVID beers, very little exercise, and the fewest miles ridden on my bike in over 25 years; don’t you think people will want to read about it?
Stacy B: No.
Me: Seriously?
Stacy B: Seriously, no.
Me: So you’re saying that even if I tell the world about the beginnings of Operation Pec-Lift II and how the gym was better than I thought in COVID times—especially being fully vaccinated—that no one will want to read about it?
Stacy B: I can’t imagine someone bored enough to read about some non-athlete dad going to the gym to lift a few weights. But what do I know? I just work here. Do you have any coupons or bottle slips?
Me: No.
Stacy B: That’ll be $124.98. Cash back?
Me: No thanks.
Stacy B: Good luck with your exercising and stuff. You might want to try cutting back on empty calories and maybe do some incline chest presses.
Me: Yeah… yeah. Thanks. Are you sure that no one…
Stacy B: NO!!!!
Me: OK!! OK!! Thanks.
Stacy B: Thanks for shopping at Meijer.
Later.