On Friday, I found myself oddly void of the desire to visit the Caligula-like setting of the gym and all of its sweat, testosterone, and cluster bomb pheromone attacks camouflaged in Gymshark tights. Instead, I opted to get some shit done and then do a short photo walk at Meridian Park. This obviously did nothing for my rotund shape but did get me out of the house, and somedays, that’s all that matters.
It’s been a minute and a half since my last post, but there is a very good reason for that; weather, travel, gym time, and soccer dad duties have conspired to keep me out of the woods with my camera, and no one exactly wants to read this shit anyway, let alone read this shit when it has nothing to do with anything even vaguely outdoor-related and only features photos of my kid playing soccer, a bowl of pasta I made for lunch, or my dogs. Unless, of course, I’ve misjudged my ever-dwindling audience and the blog’s SEO stats (I think I have those).
It’s Friday morning, and I’m writing this to kill some time before going to the gym to lift heavy things for no reason. I am also writing in an attempt to cajole the last shreds of motivation in my mind into doing such an absurd thing. I feel like a sassy $5 hooker talking up my game to any pedestrian walking down my side of the street. And as you might imagine, motivational talk from someone who is blindly confidant yet so clearly undervalues their talents is not great. Of course, I’m also trying to quash the mental snapshot of myself wearing a crop top, booty shorts, pink wig, fishnets, and combat boots as I hustle my side of the cul de sac. “$5, and I’ll show you the time of your life. Where else are you gonna get chlamydia this good? ‘Cmon, baby.” Or something like that.
On Monday morning, I wrote a post about how much of a slacker I was over the weekend. However, because my slack was so unbelievably strong, there were no photos to accompany the post. So I waited. But I waited so long that I now find the post more irrelevant and even dumber than my usual dross. So it’s been permanently shelved—the Blog Dogs rejoice.
I seemed to have, for the most part, recovered from Monday’s “McGregor Strut” injury to my foot and was able to return to the gym on Wednesday.
For some reason, I didn’t have a lot of desire to be in the gym, so I got in, did a casual warm-up on the treadmill, did my quick circuit of weight exercises, and got out. Then I spent the rest of the day doing whatever it is I do. While I’m still not sure what it was I did (or do), I bet I did it very just adequately enough.
There is a first time for everything, and I’m not too ashamed to admit it; I hurt my foot Monday afternoon while animatedly relaying a story to Brenann about the time a few years ago when I saw a clip of a non-league goalkeeper doing the Connor McGregor strut after his team scored a late-game winner at the opposite end of the pitch.
Can I get a do-over on last week?
Something about last week was off for me. While nothing horrible happened, and I’m still maintaining a good (enough) mindset, something was off. I think the Michigan spring is getting to me, and I use the term “spring” lightly. The past week was filled with cold temps, high wind, ice storms, heavy rain, and very few fading glimpses of the sun. The week also seemed worse because it was B’s spring break, and while the rest of Michigan seemingly did something in warmer climates, we did nothing. Again.
