Lately I have been taking enjoyment from some strange things, and by “strange,” I don’t mean stupidly riding around the snowless woods on a heavy ass fat bike or my born again lust for women wearing tube socks. Not that those things aren’t fun or incredibly freaking hot, it’s just not what I am referring to. Read on if ye care, if ye don’t… well… don’t.
It’s been way too long since I posted and I am starting to get grief from one of my two readers (Wifey), so, I figured I would post something quick until I get a real post together
With B-Man and Wifey on a short jaunt to WPA for the July 4th holiday and me at home on Jake (the dog) duty, I was hopeful that the later part of this week would be filled with miles and smiles. Sadly it has been filled with suck, subparness, wind, rain, few miles and fewer smiles. Oh well, it beats not riding at all! Or does it?
The Soiled Burger Project is over (hold your applause, please), and I gotta tell you, it all seems sort of anticlimactic. I made more than a few burgers over the last month or so, surely upped my cholesterol a few points and no doubt ingested my fair share of bovine antibiotics, that will most likely prevent me from fighting off future illnesses and leave me dying of consumption in the winter to come (again, hold your applause).
All those burgers, all that meat, all that grilling and it has come full circle to the Burger 01.
Last week, I introduced The Soiled Burger Project; my attempt to up my burger grilling game. In my opinion, Burger 01 was a success to my ever growing belly and dulling taste buds.
I was set to continue the pointless, calorie rich project as the week went on, then I ran out of propane, then I was out-of-town for three days, but hey, I’m back in town now, with some fresh ‘pane and I’m set to continue on with Burger 02, a spicy, sriracha sauce tinged, hunk of ground meaty goodness on a bun. Or at least that’s what I had hoped.
So far this summer I have been struggling with my grilled hamburger skills. I’ve scoured the internet, flipped through magazines and even busted out some cookbooks looking for ideas, but so far, so not good. Everything has just been a bit bland. Hell, Wifey even recently declared that she’s “off burgers,” as she took a swig of Jack and threw the plate containing the half eaten burger against the wall, forcing me to tears (I made that up, Wifey doesn’t drink whiskey).
However, I am putting my early summer grill failures behind me and getting balls deep into trying to make a better, tastier hamburger all on my own (yes, I am aware that the use of the term “balls deep” may not be the way to start off a blog post about food. Sorry, it just worked).
Since my evening dinners will be void of grilled burgers until Wifey deems her palette ready for another go, I am resigned to working on building a better burger for my lunches. So after my ride today I set about making burger 01 of the Soiled Burger Project, an ongoing Cat 5 Cooking summer series devoted to my attempts to make what I believe is a better burger (welcome to the world of the unemployed). Your taste buds may differ, and yes, I am aware that referring to any food as “soiled” is not all that appetizing, I think we’ll all be OK…
The gun people have the NRA in their corner defending their right to blow big holes in things. Cigarettes have the tobacco industry and all those old smokers trying to look hip on ventilators in their corner. Sugar, which has come to be blamed for everything from childhood obesity, to Obamacare, to erectile dysfunction, has nearly the entire American food industry in its corner. And pasta? Well, pasta has me to champion how freaking good it is when eaten in moderation (although I prefer not to) and prepared with love (Note: please make a rainbow arc with your hands as you read the word love).
Pasta can warm the cockles of even the most staunch carb hater. Yeah, I’m looking at the Atkins people with their three meals a day of cheese & bacon but can’t walk up a flight of stairs and the ninety-nine dollars a pound, grass-fed, Cross-Fit doing, high horse riding Paleo people! Go ahead, hate on pasta! I’ll still be here eating it and loving it along with millions of Italians, the state of New Jersey and that hot Italian cook with the giant head on the Food Network. We be tight.
Yesterday (on the road for 41 miles), and today on the trail, was all about the scale. No, not the scale that tells me that I’ve gained 40 pounds since 2005 when I started this blog, fancied myself an endurance mountain bike racer who eventually realized he just likes to ride his bike on trails, gravel and roads, drink beer, eat good food and sometimes race, but the pain scale. I have to say, that even though I don’t like pain, I like this scale way more than that fucking, lying piece of shit in my bathroom… Forty pounds my ass!
This week has been made up of the following: riding, bitching, moaning, hate, expanding my liver, stretching, core work, ice therapy (to that area that makes up the gulf betweenst my two giant love handles) and adjustments to my riding position. Right now, things are going pretty darn, not bad. In fact, today I completed my normal 16 mile loop and on a pain scale of 1 to 10 I think it was merely a 4… maybe even a 3. Woot!
To go back a smidge, I got out yesterday on the road bike. I felt like shit… I felt great… I felt like shit… I felt great. Grrrr…
While I didn’t feel great over the entire 41 miles of crap Michigan roads, I felt well enough that I didn’t want to sell all my bikes and take up drinking and masturbation as my “go-to” hobbies (they will remain in the 2 and 3 slots).
And I as I said above, today’s slow/quick lap felt pretty OK… ish.
Later…. I have a couple other hobbies to take care of.
Yesterday was all about getting some longish Weekday Ride road miles in. Today was all about doing an easy ride out on the dirt roads for an hour and a half in the wind and seeing how the Clement X’Plor USH 700 x 35 tires I bought WAY back in January, and finally installed this week, rolled.
After a day off the bike due weather on Friday (morning) and traveling with B-Man to his soccer match on Saturday, I got out for a quick lap at MMCC after B’s home match on Sunday. I wish I hadn’t.
