Tag Archives | road riding

A Ride With The Worms


Today was another cool, damp misty day here in Michigan. I can deal with mist and cool temps over the recent gusting winds and heavy rain any day, so I headed out on the fatty fatterson to log some miles, take some pics, and roll some worms.

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That Time I Bonked Due to Suck


While Wifey has been out-of-town on .gov business this week I did everything a proper father/person should do, and that I do anyway (for the most part): Made all the meals, did laundry, got B to soccer practice, made sure his homework was done, mowed grass, did the shopping, did the dishes, took the trash out, ate properly, didn’t drink booze, smoke crack, shoot up, kill anyone or solicit prostitutes.

Given all that clean living I REALLY thought that I was up for a larger than usual (but not THAT large) multi-surface ride today. Sadly, my want to putz around taking photos, an unforeseen detour, a lack of on the bike nutrition, wind, deep sand, and higher than usual September temps turned me into a gelatinous heap of bonked suck praying for a passer-by to shoot me down like a gimp dog.

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First Half Time Trial


After getting up this morning, I set about drinking coffee, watching football and writing a crap blog post about yesterday’s ride. I finished the post by contemplating a fat bike ramble or a Better Than The Trainer Ride™. In the end I opted for the 26.5 mile B.T.T.T.R™ that was 98% pavement.

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Friday Forty-Six


This week I found myself doing more road riding than in I have in a while. Well, not real skinny tire, hi-viz kit wearing, cafe stopping, kilometer talking, take your pull and follow the unwritten rules road riding, but rides in which I spent a higher percentage of time on paved roads (or what passes for paved in Michigan) than on dirt and gravel. Case in point: yesterday’s forty-six mile roll through the mythical rural landscapes of Mighiganderburgh atop the Boone.

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And The Fun Begins


After feeling good on the bike yesterday, I found myself creeping around the house last night and early this morning like someone repeatedly hit me in the back with a baseball bat. Me thinks that my lower fat back did not take kindly to the hip stretches that I did yesterday, oddly enough, done to relieve me lower back pain! Typical me-ish-ness.

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The Dirt Squeeze


After spending 8.5 hours with my ass puckered on Wednesday, waiting to screw something up on my first day at the shop, I slept like a baby last night* : a six-foot one, 200+ pound, shaved legged, beer bellied, Morrissey haired, love handled, bike riding, wanker-like baby. Despite that lengthy, yet still abbreviated, list of my handicaps, it still managed to feel great.

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Baked & Salted


It’s funny how quickly things change. It seems like only yesterday I was riding my Farley over frozen dirt roads, with five layer, of woolen, wicking, hi-tech, extreme cold weather gear and still freezing my tits off in 1˚ weather. Today I rode 45 miles of pavement and dirt roads (about 65% pavement today) and came home a sweaty, fat piece of salty baked ham in human form. Believe me, that is in NO way complaining, I loved every hot, sweaty, ham-like moment of those 45 miles! I’m just sayin’.

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Not Completely Stupid


After Saturday’s debacle of a ride where I limped home a bonked, wind hammered, shell of a would-be cyclist, I took Sunday and Monday off the bike. Sunday I went to B’s soccer match, watched footy on TV, drank a few beers and cooked burgers on the grill. Monday I made sure to hydrate, got back to eating good, quality foods and hoped that the bonk I experienced on Saturday was just the result of poor post-ride recovery and Friday night hijinks. I hoped, prayed and fretted that I had not become so fat, slovenly and crap that I could do, 40, 45, 48 and 49.5 mile rides fine, but the mere idea of cresting 50 miles would turn me to a heap of human suck clad in lycra.

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Dirt, Spokes & Disappointment

17077730998_9b18478a45_cAs previously discussed, this week will not got down amongst the finer ones of the year. But that is all, pretty much, sort of, kinda behind me. The important things is that after four days of nothingness and crap trainer rides, I finally got my cottage cheese-like ass cheeks in the saddle for a ride atop the Boone today .

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There are days when riding my bike in the bitter cold, ice, snow and relentless winds of a middle Michigan winter makes me want to fellatiate a loaded .45. However there is one thing in the back of my mind (other than the handgun fellatiating) during those cold winter rides– days like today.

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